times up for me and malawi.. for now... and this afternoon will be my last trek to and from work.. last time i have to hold my breath and cross the Mudi River gushing with shit and garbage, and the last time i have to push my way through the hawkers and street urchins lounging outside the national bank.
dreading today. not the walk, but getting to the office. not very good at saying goodbye. to be honest, i'm such a cowardly lion about the whole process that i usually just go for a casual 'see you later' and convince myself that i will see whomever it is at some future point. and, despite the uncertainty of the reunion's time and place, i almost definitely will see whomever it is later. so its okay
this is different. i wont actually see 99% of the people that i have spent the past 6 months with ever again.
the history of africa is speckled with the comings and goings of this and that dictator, and the periodic occupations of every european nation that ever owned a steamship. constantly, and almost rhythmically, regimes grow, saviors turn to slaughterers, unrest turns to revolution and a new regime rises from the ashes. over and over, africa's people are promised the world by powerful foreigners and abandoned to pick up the pieces once they've gotten what they wanted.
thats why i feel like a traitor.
and thats why just thinking about saying goodbye this afternoon feels like a punch in the stomach. but thats also how i know, that even though i'm leaving now.. i'll be back.
tionana malawi. zikomo ndi mutsale bwino
(see you later malawi. thank you and stay well)
ps. last day of work= last day of internet. but not the last day of africa. i'm leaving malawi on saturday and then rambling through tanzania. i'll fill you in if /when i can along the way. check back in a few weeks
