On Minibuses

Of the trip up to Karonga, Pam (my travel partner) and I spent a majority of our waking time traveling via some means or another. For Malawians, the minibus is a primary mode of transport, so I thought it wise to inform my unenlightened readers- the following are the Seven Wonders of the Minibus…

1) Minibuses are surprisingly small: Envision a Volkswagen hippie bus, but replace the shag carpeting with rows of school bus seats.

2) Minibuses are not surprisingly uncomfortable: These miraculous vehicles have a Mary-Poppins-suitcase effect of being able to contain not 10, not 15, but on average from 17 to 20 full grown adults. Overcrowded is a vast understatement. Try clogged, teeming, sardine-stuffed…On the bright side, they would be exceptionally safe in an accident, as there is no need for seatbelts.

3) Minibuses are exceptionally hot. Not only do excess capacity and the African climate  contribute, but there is limited engine  insulation. So where the metal floor has not completely corroded away, it is very hot. One particular journey, I was seated straddling a cardboard box of yellow chicks that peeped relentlessly. The floor was so hot through my sandals that I had to continually shift my feet to avoid melting the robber soles. So two hours into the trip when the chicks stopped peeping I was sure they’d roasted to death. Yet the peeping began again in earnest before too long. This brings me to the fourth wonder of the minibus…

4) Minibuses are frequented not only by humans, but by various feathered customers as well. I have yet to ride for any extended amount of time without a live chicken onboard. Wait, no, there was one trip. But the lady next to me was carrying a string of fresh lake fish.

5) Minibuses break down with some frequency: It makes sense, they are old and over-burdened. But considering, they do manage quite well. 3 hours each way through the mountains to Chitipa on the dustiest, unpaved, basically naturally cobble-stone, road didn’t phase the bus either to or from. And the brakes are quite well maintained as I discovered when we lurched abruptly to halt on the way down a different mountain to avoid hitting the family of pink-butt baboons crossing the road.

6) Its hard to sleep on minibuses: whether it’s the heat, the noise, the smell, somehow I generally can’t manage to use my time wisely and catch up on sleep. There was just one success. After nodding off, I fell forward somehow and woke up at my destination with my face comfortably nestled into the hen sitting on top of the luggage in front of me.  When I abruptly sat up to get my stuff together, the bird started clucking and then an old lady at the back of the bus started screaming that I was stealing her chicken. It took a while to explain myself.

7) Minibuses are absurdly fun and entertaining vehicles, if you have even the faintest glimmer of a sense of humor: see above.

the chicken that turned into my pillow